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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29468586">Catching Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/pseuds/reginahalliwell'>reginahalliwell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, First Crush, Gay Panic Hiking, Heteronormativity, Internalized Homophobia, Introspection, M/M, POV Patrick Brewer, Pre-Episode: s03e13 Grad Night</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:08:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>711</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29468586</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/pseuds/reginahalliwell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick has a sudden, life-changing realization about his new business partner. He takes a hike to figure it out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Catching Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiffymittens/gifts">spiffymittens</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Birthday, spiffy!!! I know it's been done a million times before, but I hope you enjoy this little birthday ficlet exploring some first time feeeeeelings 💜</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A feeling sparked there, Patrick’s words coming out with a smile he wasn’t trying to make. A flicker of something, a tingle deep inside him. A spark that lit and followed the fuse straight to his heart. It bubbled up from low in his belly, a weight that lifted and lifted and lifted him up as it rose.</p><p>David.</p><p><em>This is what it feels like,</em> Patrick realized all of a sudden, <em>to have a crush on someone. To really, truly have a crush.</em></p><p>Not to just like someone as a friend, or to think they are pretty, or to get along easily with someone. But to want them. To want them to like <em>you</em>. He felt it, that unfamiliar feeling. Something long lost shifted inside of him, a door unlocking, opening just slightly enough to see light through the crack.</p><p>It was a revelation. And suddenly, he felt so incredibly stupid.</p><p>What kind of person gets to 30 without knowing what having a crush feels like? Apparently Patrick. And what kind of person, he thought was even worse, didn’t know they could feel that way about a guy?!</p><p>Not just any guy, though. David was… so special. David who was still in the room here with him, supposedly conversing.</p><p>He looked back up to David, who was examining him strangely – it wasn’t bad, exactly, but maybe concerned, or inquisitive? Perhaps David had said something and Patrick hadn’t responded.</p><p>“Sorry,” he said involuntarily, sure that he had done something wrong. David <em>was</em> looking at him a little weird, the expression on his face one that Patrick couldn’t really translate. There were a lot of David’s looks he couldn’t quite read.</p><p>“I’m gonna,” Patrick said, “I’m gonna go, actually. I forgot I had something to—”</p><p>David’s expression was still that confusing scrunched-up one that he didn’t understand.</p><p>“Okay,” David said, shaking his head. “I can finish up here. Go do what you need to do.”</p><p>Patrick needed to figure some things out. Invariably, that meant he needed to go on a hike.</p><p>There was a lot of pressure on this particular hike. A lot of things to figure out.</p><p>Things like, <em>am I attracted to David?</em> <em>Am I attracted to other guys that I just haven’t realized?</em> Patrick thought back to his warm feelings for Jeff on his baseball team, for his favorite hockey players, for his neighbor that was a couple years older growing up next door. There was definitely something there, something he hadn’t put his finger on before, either because he didn’t understand it or because he didn’t want to.</p><p>And now? Now he wanted to. He really, <em>really</em> wanted to. If it meant that he might – with David – something. Ugh. Patrick struggled to reconcile these new feelings for his business partner (his <em>business partner!! Why was he even considering this?!)</em> in the grand scheme of things.</p><p>The trail was quiet today, which Patrick appreciated. He was alone with the birds and the trees and these <em>feelings</em>. For David. Who was his new business partner, and, incidentally, a man. So. That was new.</p><p>Patrick wouldn’t have thought he was homophobic, and maybe that’s not really what it was, but there was some part of him that pushed back. The part that had only ever been with women. That had been engaged to Rachel. That had been the boy his parents had raised. It felt like he was asking himself to be a totally different person.</p><p>But, he wasn’t. Was he?</p><p>Was he, Patrick Brewer, always this? Always this guy who could have met the right person at any time and just… wanted them? Because that’s how it felt with David. Like he wanted him, like it could be that easy to feel want and really know it for what it was. Patrick wanted to be with him, even if it meant rethinking his entire identity. Even if it put their business relationship in danger.</p><p>Maybe he didn’t have to be a different person. Maybe he was exactly the same person, the same business major, the same confident, organized, methodical Patrick he had always been. Just, a Patrick that was attracted to guys. <em>Also</em> attracted? <em>Only</em> attracted?</p><p><em>Sigh</em>.</p><p>It was going to take more than one hike to figure this out.</p>
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